A Flicker of Light
by steepedinshadows419
Summary: Post 3x19 - Barry wants to see Iris smile. Barry/Iris. Oneshot.


**A/N:** Follow-up fic to _Touch Me, Trust Me, Wrap Your Arms Around Me_. The morning after. A little angsty, cuddly fic. Enjoy! :)

 ***** Many thanks to my epic beta, **sendtherain** , for being awesome and trudging through this complicated piece for me. (So many rewrites I did for this one!)

 ***** I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

...

When Iris woke up the next morning, the fragile peace that had wrapped around her and Barry during the night started to dissipate, try as she might to stop it. There was interference in the closeness between them. She could feel herself putting a wall up. She knew Barry would be able to sense it too as soon as he too was awake. There was no way he could pretend it wasn't there.

Her heart was heavy, and she feared more than anything that he wouldn't be able to lighten it again.

The sun streaming through the sheer curtains in their bedroom made Barry stir slightly. Being the light sleeper that he had become lately, it was only a matter of time before his consciousness fully roused itself. He didn't want to wake up, because he knew what was to come, and he knew everyone would be getting restless. They had key information now, something other than a strategy to make him faster, but it still didn't guarantee anything. And it wouldn't help find Caitlin.

He blindly refused to believe Iris was going to die, despite what he'd seen in the future. But Iris, with her talk of taking care of Joe and Wally, the way she got lost in herself recently, and how she tensed whenever Caitlin was mentioned the night before… He could see the future was getting to her. It was eating her alive.

That tick-tock going off in her head made her restless and completely replaced any trace of a smile on her face. There were fleeting moments it reappeared, moments that made his heart flutter, but they were few and far between. He couldn't remember the last time she'd really smiled. The type of smile that made her face light up and infected those around her.

He missed that smile.

"Hey, Iris?" He whispered as she lay in bed beside him.

She stirred, but only slightly, and a heavy sigh passed through her lips when he lay his hand on her shoulder.

"What is it, Barry?" She asked, her voice drowsy and thick with sleep.

He hadn't just roused her from sleep. He'd brought her back to reality, and it exhausted her. It made his heart ache.

"C'mere," he requested.

She obliged and turned to face him, pulling her arms up to her chin to warm herself as she snuggled into his chest. Barry pulled the blankets past her shoulder when he saw her shiver.

"You cold?" He asked, but she shook her head and twisted her legs between his. He felt her cold toes.

"You're warm," she said in response.

Still, he wrapped his arm around her beneath the blankets.

He waited a full minute, long enough to not seem hasty but long enough for her to fall asleep again.

"We should do something," he said.

"Like what?" She yawned, not pointing out it was the middle of the night.

"I dunno." He pressed his face into her hair. "Something fun and relaxing that can make us forget. Something besides sleep."

Her weary sigh made his heart ache once more.

"We have too much to do, Barry. We can't afford to do something fun. We have to keep…" She sighed again. "…working."

He paused, thinking. He was desperate to bring back the light he'd seen her clinging to only hours earlier.

"Iris, when I went to the future, it was dark and hopeless."

He felt her tense, remembered how he'd warned her she wouldn't like details, so he began to rub slow circles on her back to soothe her. He wasn't going to share anything too brutally honest.

"Things were looking up when I left," he said, hoping that would help. "But there was one piece of advice my older self kept saying, and I think I need to take it. _We_ need to take it."

She was silent in the moments that followed. He was almost afraid to breathe.

But then Iris lifted her head and scooted back enough to look him in the eye.

"What's that?" She asked, curious, genuine, and open in a way she hadn't been in a while.

"To make as many good memories with you as I can, and hold onto them tight in case…"

Iris swallowed hard and her eyes shone with fear. Barry didn't finish the sentence.

"To make good memories," he said again, stopping there.

He dragged his hand beneath the covers up to her arm and glided it up and down gently.

"I don't think we should stop living just because we're trying to find a way to change the future."

Iris's lips parted. It was clear she wanted to argue his point. They hadn't stopped living. But she knew he'd observed how they'd changed, and she couldn't deny it.

"I can't remember the last time I saw you smile," he said sadly, and she had to look away.

"It's hard to smile, Barry," she finally said. "Knowing what's coming." She met his gaze again. "And you telling me you're going to save me, it doesn't…it can't…"

"I know," he said. Now was not the time to convince her the future was going to change.

"But…" He found her hand with his fingers and clasped the engagement ring on her finger. "Remember we're engaged," he said, then nuzzled close. "Remember I love you."

A pause, and then, "I love you, too, Bear," she sighed contentedly, no more than a breath between them.

"Will you try to smile for me then? Will you try to find something to be happy about?"

Iris opened her eyes and looked at him, then traced the curves of his face and smiled softly.

"I'll try," she said.

That was enough for now.


End file.
